Thursday, February 28, 2013

Monthly TOEFL essay #1; Family members gather on special days

Many cultures around the world have their own customs which have their own strength and also have enough value to be adopted by other cultures. In the case of my county Korea, I personally think that the custom of a whole family gathering toghther in special holidays like Chuseok, and New Year's Day is a very strong aspect of Korean culture. This is a custom that can be adopted by other cultures because it strengthens family bond, and provides people the chance to relieve their stress.

To start with, the custom of gathering on special holidays can strengthen the family bond. Many of us have a very big family with its members living in diverse places. This makes it quite difficult for families to gather around in normal days. However, for Koreans, gathering in special holidays is a very important aspect of their culture. Thus, many Koreans eventually come together and reinforce their family bond in these days. For example, last year, I had an opportunity to meet my aunt who had immigrated to America few years ago, as she had visited my family to celebrate New Year's Day. During a conversation I had with her, I was told that many of her foreign friends rarely have a chance to meet their family members, because their family reunions are usually smaller in size compared to Korea. Thus, by adopting this custom, families from other countries will also be able to have a chance to gather around and reinforce their family bond.

Additionally, this custom provides people the chance to relieve their stress. In the modern society, people always have to work hard to earn enough money to make a living. However, as the society is becoming more competitive, we have to go through a lot of obstacles to achieve this, which results in a lot of stress. In this situation, being with other family members is a good way to relieve stress. We can learn about ways to overcome our hardships by having conversations with other relatives. Not only that, the fact that we are with our family itself acts as an effective way to relieve our stress, because we can know that we are not alone. Knowing that we can rely to someone else can sometimes act as a great encouragement, especially when we are going through a lot of hardship. This means that Korean custom of gathering on special holidays can act as a great way for society members to relieve their stress and go through their hardship.

In conclusion, Korean custom of gathering on special days undoubtely has enough value to be adopted by cultures of foriegn countries, as it strengthens family bond and gives society members the opportunity to relieve stress and overcome hardship. By adopting this custom, people in foriengn countries will also be able to have a chance to reaffirm the value of their family.

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. It was an enjoyable experience for me to read the essay-good in overall-both in structural aspect and the quality of the content. Though I would like to talk about the topic itself. Is the custom of gathering family members our special custom? Though there was a good description of the culture itself, I don't really see why this culture is unique, or original. And I would have liked this essay a lot more if there were some more portion of explanation of the custom, rather than the illustration of the modern social problems.
    otherwise, I enjoyed reading your essay.
    thank you:)

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  3. I was really honored to read this good essay, and I think there were a number of strong points that successfully supported your idea, but simultaneously, I could see several parts that would be much better if you deal with little bit. As a matter of fact, not only Korea, there are lots of countries that all the family members gather into one place on special days, such as China, so I was not able to fully understand why this custom is distinctive one compared to that of other countries. Also, it would have been better essay if you concentrated more on general illustrations of the culture itself, rather than finishing it only by giving your personal experience.
    Anyway, it was truly enjoyable for me to read your essay with two concrete reasons.^^

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  4. Your essay implies that only Koreans gather together during holidays to bond. . . guess my life has been a lie. But then, this is a common stereotype, that somehow Koreans are more family oriented than western countries, when in my experience this is simply not true.

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